Let’s get this out of the way: we won’t spoil anything from Season 8 in this post. You’re safe!

Jon Snow’s full title is a mouthful. First of his name, the White Wolf, the 998th Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, King Crow, the Prince who was Promised, King of the Andals and the First Men, the Undying, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and protector of the Realm.

We’d like to add one more: Pogo Energy customer.

Okay, so Winterfell isn’t exactly on the Texas power grid. Heck, none of Westeros (or Essos!) even has electricity to begin with. So what? George R. R. Martin hasn’t finished the series yet, so as far as we’re concerned, the whole thing could be happening somewhere in West Texas. It’s a big state! But we digress.

Okay, on second thought, definitely not Texas.

Jon Snow is everything we love about our customers. Here’s why:

He’s trying to save the world from an apocalyptic climate threat

Given the spoiler free-ness of this blog, the last time we saw Jon Snow, he was uniting forces with Daenerys Targaryen and asking Cersei Lannister for help defeating the Night King’s army of undead. Winter is coming, after all!

But let’s roll back the tape. His quest boils down to this:

  • There’s an imminent apocalyptic climate threat
  • …that seemingly can’t be stopped
  • …and that his world isn’t prepared to fix
  • …and the people in power (in this case, Cersei) don’t believe the gravity of the threat
  • …and those same people refuse to do anything about it

Sound familiar? Here at Pogo, we’re dedicated to combating climate change by providing 100% renewable energy. Climate change isn’t a matter of belief – just like how the Night King is coming whether or not Cersei believes that he exists – and like Jon Snow, we’re trying to actually do something about it.

But it’s not just about convincing the people in power to do something about it – Jon is doing what any good millennial (granted he’s from a different millennium entirely) would, and recruiting all of his friends to help fight this threat as well. Way to go, Jon!

He’s really just an overworked millennial

Jon Snow never asked for any of this.

He was never seen as a true Stark by his family, nor did he want to lead the Night’s Watch or become the King in the North. Back in Season 1, he just wanted to go serve on the wall and find some purpose in a life that had been unfair to him. A few years later, he’s basically working five different jobs!

Us when someone says millennials are killing another industry

Another key millennial trait that Jon Snow has in spades: he’ll be friends with anyone, regardless of social class. His best friends are Samwell Tarly, who is the only nerd in all of Westeros (hey, nerd culture is mainstream now, Sam would love 2019!) and Tormund Giantsbane, one of our favorite Free Folk who isn’t even from Westeros and wasn’t welcome south of the wall until Jon Snow brokered a peace between their people.

Jon Snow is here to break down cultural barriers and shatter societal prejudices ingrained by previous generations, baby!

And let’s not forget about that killer beard/man-bun combo. Jon Snow, like modern-day millennials, doesn’t bend the knee to the razor industry in order to conform to society’s definition of professionalism. Nope, he’s letting his relentless effort and accomplishments speak for themselves.

Same, Dany. Same.

Basically, he’s all about challenging the status quo. Sounds like a millennial to us! As you know by now, millennials love us because we do the same thing.

Remember how shocked Jon Snow was when Olly and Ser Allister both started stabbing him at Castle Black? Well, that’s exactly how many Texans feel when getting their bills after being promised free nights and weekends. That, and many other plans out there, are scams in disguise. Nobody likes B.S.! Are we comparing our competitors to everyone’s least favorite character (Olly) in the entire show? You bet we are.

Speaking of scams, there’s a so-called “free pass” plan out there that’s anything but free. Turns out the actual rate is 14.5¢/kWh. That’s… well, let’s just say we’re not lighting up over it like Tormund does when Brienne walks into the room.

That’s a rate that very few can afford – even the Lannisters might not be able to pay that debt – but rolling with us means you’d pay as little as 6.7¢/kWh. Translation: switching to Pogo is like taking a big ol’ swing of Heartsbane and slicing your energy bill in half.

Remember, Ned Stark always said that the one who passes the sentence should swing the sword. That’s why we put our customers in charge – all that’s left to do is switch to us, and you can swing that sword at our industry’s Bill Shock model. Rather than waiting until the end of the month – just like Jon Snow waiting for – to see what the damage is, our pay-as-you-go system puts the customers in charge, and we’ll never resort to hidden fees just to make a profit. Other energy companies want to keep you in the dark until the time comes to pay the bill, but we send out daily text alerts to let you know exactly how much you’re using.

Let’s face it, a modern day Jon Snow would probably have some issues with the way that most Texas energy companies operate.

Bonus: He is the true heir to the throne of Westeros

We like to treat our customers like royalty – doing things like Pogo Rewards and not requiring a deposit to start – but let’s be honest here, having an actual king as a customer would be pretty cool.  

Besides, he’ll need all of the help and resources he can get in his fight against the Night King and/or Cersei. With Pogo, he could save $387 per year (if he had energy bills to pay, at least), which probably buys plenty of Valyrian Steel and Dragonglass.

We’re in the endgame now.

Or, rather, America is just a few short weeks away from the release of Avengers: Endgame, in which they will once again take on the Mad Titan Thanos. Last time we saw Thanos, he did to the universe what we do for Texans’ energy bills (i.e. cutting it down to size), drawing the ire of the Avengers (and the support of one subreddit) in the process.

In the last movie, Avengers: Infinity War, the Avengers were unable to stop Thanos. The one fatal flaw of their plan, though: they didn’t call us.

You heard it here first, folks, we weren’t invited to the last session of Avenger-ing. Neither were Hawkeye, Valykrie or Ant Man, so at least we weren’t the only ones. Still, had they called us, we’re sure Thanos wouldn’t be hanging out on his farm right now.

“But you’re just an energy company,” you may be saying, “how could you stand a chance against that giant purple guy?”

Here’s how: we’d actually reason with Thanos.

Anyone who follows us on social media knows that we’re lovers, not fighters. We’re not saying we’d beat Thanos into submission through sheer force (after all, dude went toe-to-toe with the Hulk and walked away unscathed) – but we could reason with him!

See, Thanos’ motivation (in the movie, not the comics) was that the galaxy’s resources were being depleted by a rising population, destroying planets and causing starvation. Hey, he’s not wrong! Climate change is a real thing, and we’re doing our best to fight it, too. We’re just going about our fight differently.

Thanos is clearly a glass half-empty guy – or more accurately, a universe-half-empty guy – so his solution was a bit, uh, out there. Of course destroying half the universe will lead to less energy consumption, pollution and waste. That’s common sense.

With respect to drastically cutting carbon emissions and pollution we’re on the same page as Thanos here. But there’s an easier way to do this that still allows Texans to enjoy Whataburger while also saving the galaxy.

Dude, there’s an easier way.

The Infinity Stones have, well, infinite power (more on that later!), so that got us thinking of a few less murder-y solutions to Thanos’ problem. And each of them only really requires one of the stones!

  1. Power Stone: Hey, it’s a source of completely sustainable, renewable energy. Maybe try using it for that? Here on Earth, at least, we could use it to power our entire electrical grid, instead of burning coal!
  2. Space Stone: This seems really useful, too! Instead of dumping dirty energy waste into our rivers and streams or using landfills for other waste, we could teleport it to a planet that doesn’t support life, right? That’d free up a ton of space!
  3. Mind Stone: Maybe our personal favorite solution: use the mind stone on greedy energy executives who stand in the way of climate change solutions! The mind stone convinced Hawkeye to turn on the Avengers back in the first movie, so we could definitely use it to convince the people at the top to invest in renewable and sustainable energy!
  4. Reality Stone: The easiest solution actually involves the reality stone! It allows the wielder to manipulate matter, so… we could just turn any pollution into fertile farmland. Or to undo deforestation (so… reforestation?) or bring back extinct species (except the velociraptors… wait that’s a different movie)!
  5. Time Stone: Oh, yeah, the time stone exists! Could just use that to reverse the effects of all pollution and climate change. Seems like a no-brainer.
  6. Soul Stone: We’re not sure what the soul stone does in the movies. It looks cool, though! So maybe Thanos can just make it into a necklace or something.

That’s a plan that not even Star Lord could screw up. Instead of snapping his fingers to eliminate half of the life in the universe, Thanos could use it to address all the causes of climate change. Thanos instantly becomes a hero, and doesn’t have to worry about the Avengers, well, avenging themselves.

Speaking of things that are as easy as snapping your fingers… it’s time for some humble bragging. Switching to Pogo Energy is easy – it takes less than a minute! – and even if you can’t suit up next to Captain America, you can take solace in knowing that you’re saving the world by supporting 100% clean energy. That may not make you an Avenger, but it does make you a superhero.

And the best part? You don’t even have to get off your couch! While Captain America is out there doing bicep curls with Toyota Corollas, you can just hang out, track you energy usage every day and save money.

Yeahhhh can’t help you with that, Cap

Using clean energy on its own probably makes you a more useful Avenger than Hawkeye. And War Machine’s environmental impact can’t be good (we should talk with him about that).

Groot, on the other hand, is perpetually cool with us.

We are Groot. We are Pogo Energy. Come save the world with us.